The Adventures of Duce, Sweet Pee, Swallow and Spin Dr. Tommy

Melis and I got to Moab a day before Tom and Tina arrived. We both love Canyonlands over Arches, so we spent the day in our beloved Highlander waiting out the rain. We both fell asleep parked at one of the hikes, and then like a dream the clouds parted and gave us a couple hours with almost no people. It was a sweet lil slice of heaven.

Question: if you are a fisherman, more specificity a river fisherman and you're on a river, but you don't actually fish that river, can you say you fished it? Wait let me answer that question-- hell yes! Every self respecting fisherman knows fishing isn't about fishing its about being on the river--and that's exactly the way this fishing tale begins.

Tom & Tina, our life long friends, have a friend who owns a vacation house up in  Castle Valley--about a 20 minutes drive up the Colorado River from Moab.  Tina takes the bull by the horns and books us all a jet boat ride up the Colorado. That's right bitches a JET BOAT! Which is funny because if you knew Tina (tree hugging, gluten free beer drinkin' peace- nick) you would peg her for a float tube, lunch on the river with wine, listening to The Dead kind o' gal. So when she drops this, I'm honestly pretty impressed.

Things started looking good for me when I realized the four of us had a boat all to ourselves. One other boat had two families, and both families had kids; oh did I mention every damn one of them looked like brats! This kind of luck just doesn't happen to me on things like a river trip. What's more the standard for me on these type of tours is to hear someone say,  " sir would you mind sitting next to this elderly lady? She just had a double hip replacement surgery." Which really means "her family and the captain of the boat would like to enjoy their river trip, so can they ignore your family and not be such a self centered prick and carry grandmas' ass for the duration...

If you've never been on a jet boat, they are impressive. Driving up the Colorado River is one of those things you want to do, the jet boat, even better-- unless you're Sweet Pee, she was none too fond of the captain splashing water in the cab. She claims The Colorado River tastes too much like dirt-- imagine that? I knew she was pissed when she exclaimed to the Captain that she would jump out and swim back because she would be dryer, if he splashed her one more time, this was particularly funny because Melis does not know how to swim.

The evenings were spent listening to old vinyl records, eating, drinking and laughing hard.

I'll hang on the river with Sweet Pee, Swallow and Spin Dr. Tommy J. any time!

Thanks for the great time and the best room with stunning red rock views.